Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Screwed.edu
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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