Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
