how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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