When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
