I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
