It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
