Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
