She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
