Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
