He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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