Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
