After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
