Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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