My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
