So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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