You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
