I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
