I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
