it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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