and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
