ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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