He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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