I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
