just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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