I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
