: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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