2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
