i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
