I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
