I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
