It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
