He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
