she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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