IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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