I want to have your abortion
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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