So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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