two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
