Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
