this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
