The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
