they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
