you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
