he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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