i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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