I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
