it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
