Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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