i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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