WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
