Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
