this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
