There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
