took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
